He went to Poland last week, to visit his relatives.....probably coming back in July.....we've been friends for 10 years now. Now I realized I seriously love him. Yes, I fell in love with him and it's both good and bad at the same time. I know for sure he wouldn't love me more than a friend, cause one day I asked him do you think you would fall in love with me? and he said no cause you're like a sister to me. I seriously feel strong feelings for him and cant just keep them inside....it would hurt more than ever.... So, I decided to write a letter. Not an email, but a letter. It's more romantic. I know he read it cause he told me and he said he'll talk about this when he comes back to the USA. I typed this for you to read. Here it is:
"Hi, honey. I'm not writing this letter to ask you how things are going there. I'm writing to tell you a special story. We've been friends for years, and your name is right there, written in my heart, and I know mine is there in your heart, too. Together we've been through the darkest moments, everytime I asked for help you were there holding my hand and whispering those words everyone would love to hear from a friend. But no one will ever hear them, because nobody is like you. You're so unique and special, so sweet but yet so cold. You're the brightest star that shines when it's dark all around me, you're the one who dries all of my tears and heals all of my deepest wounds. Do you remember when you saw me crying in the bathroom, holding those pills, when I had no idea what to do because I was in total confusion? Well, you saved my life that day. You gave me a reason to live....and that reason is you. And do you remember when we were kids and we wrote our names on a paper and said that they sound nice together and that we would get married one day? Do you remember that I had no idea how to spell and pronounce your last name? Borowczyk! But now I know, cause you taught me, honey. And you taught me many other things. You taught me how to drive the car, taught me how to play videogames, but first of all and most important thing, you taught me how to be a real friend. You taught me how to be a better person. But you see, Rocky. Now you're teaching me another thing, a new thing, something I never felt before. You're teaching me how to love. One day I woke up to the sound of the rain, and as I slowly opened my eyes, I thought of your wonderful, blue eyes looking into mine, I thought of your lips and how good would it feel to kiss you and hold your hand, what would it be like to be in your arms and whisper how much I love you. Yes, Rocky. I fell in love with you, with my best friend. It's happening, and it's something we both have to face, just like we faced everything else in life, honey. We faced good and bad things, right? But this isn't good and this isn't bad, it's just something we didn't expect, but yet it happened, and we have to sit down and face reality. We're not kids anymore, we're 21 and old enough to know what love is. I know you don't feel the same way I do, and I'm not asking you to pretend you do, or to change your mind. Obviously, it hurts, it is painful, but that's life. The only thing I ask is.....don't leave me alone in this situation, drowning in my own feelings. I'll be there for you and you'll be there for me, like always, right? Rocky, I know you won't abandon me or be mad at me. I know you would never do anything that might hurt me, not even a little thing. Honey, I am sorry but I couldn't keep these feelings hiding in my soul. I just had to let you know. Real friends don't lie. A bad truth is way better than a good lie. Remember? You also taught me that. Now I'm not lying when I say that I love you more than my own life. I would write for hours and hours, but my feelings of love for you cannot be described through words.
dear friends : I love you," that's always how we start. Those five simple words always bring a smile to my face and song to my heart. I am just writing this here because it's the only way I know that I can shout to the world I love you!